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General => General Games => Topic started by: Pirate Cortez on June 24, 2005, 01:17:20 pm

Title: The Chozo are drug lords
Post by: Pirate Cortez on June 24, 2005, 01:17:20 pm
This ins't a common known fact, but the Chozo people were actually a highly organized drug chain.
Now you're probably wondering why, or thinking that I, Sir Kibble, has lost his mind, but think about it. Look at the similarity between the two
words.

-metROIDS

-steROIDS

It becomes obvious if you follow that on its logical route, you eventually end up with the conclusion that the Chozo actually engineered Metroids to act as a futuristic and more capable Steroid. Metroids are designed to drain energy, and they have the power to release this energy either by natural or conventional means like the Space Pirates were doing. After the Metroids would drain enough energy, the Chozo would harvest this energy and sell them around the Galaxy in the black market, making huge dividends and profits for their race. It's no wonder they had all the resoucres to create those neat weapons and battle armor. Because they were all crime lords!
The Space Pirates also discovered the wonder and marketing potential of this new living drug, so they stole them from the Chozo (Who eventually all died of liver posioning. Thats the real reason right there). In the past, the Space Pirates made a dangerous living of ransacking other freighter ships for goods to sell on the black market, but now that the Chozo were monopolizing the market, they had to steal them to protect their way of life.
The Chozo raised Samus to defeat the Space Pirates, because now the Space Pirates had stolen their market from them. The Chozo were so enraged that the Space Pirates had stolen their brainchild actually, that they raised Samus to destroy them also, and even the Metroids.
Why the Metroids you ask? Well, the Chozo could always make more Metroids, but they knew the Space Pirates couldn't. After Samus had caused considerable damage to their market, they tried to engineer their own Metroids, the Mochtroids. This however, was a failure. Then the SPace Pirates stumbled on another miracle drug, Phazon.
The Space Pirates also realized that this Phazon, if kept contained, had an even larger potential than the Metroids did. Now the Space Pirates had their answer for Samus, and for the Metroids.
The harvest of Phazon soon began afterwards. The Space Pirates searched the galaxy for Phazon, but wherever they went, Samus was sure to follow.
Samus is the only thing left of the once mighty Chozo Drug Empire, and the only thing left standing between the Space Pirates and succeeding in monopolizing the whole Galaxy.
Sum Up:
The Space Pirates and the Chozo: Their kinda like a mafia, a ring of crime lords battling to control the galaxies markets.
Mother Brain: Leader and head of the Space Pirates. The big cheese of the operation, the brains behind it all. (Hence Mother 'Brain')
Ridley: Mother Brains second-in-command. He does all of MB's bidding and dirty work, including destroying Samus Aran.
Metroids: The living drug. Used to harvest energy for the Chozo's Steroid market.
Samus Aran: Protector and justice bringer of the Chozo. Raised to destroy the Space Pirates and their market which they stole from the Chozo.
Phazon: The answer to the decrease in Metroids. Phazon has ten times the potential of the Metroids, if the Space Pirates can find a method to control it's spontaneous and severe side effects.
The Galactic Federation: The police of the Galaxy. The GF have been trying to stop the crime underworld of the Chozo and Space Pirates for decades. They've recently signed a contract with Samus Aran to do their bidding, for a high price.
And that sums it up. Everything else is a lie engineered by the Chozo.
Title: The Chozo are drug lords
Post by: Lazlo Falconi on June 24, 2005, 02:40:10 pm
Your logic is infallible, I bow to you, sir.
Title: The Chozo are drug lords
Post by: Swiftman on June 24, 2005, 04:26:36 pm
Ha ha! Nice work, Kib. I had no idea of this. Damn those Chozo and their brains! Damn them I say! They even had Nintendo going! Ooohhh, they're dastardly, I say.
Title: The Chozo are drug lords
Post by: Pirate Cortez on June 24, 2005, 09:25:40 pm
Quote from: "Lazlo Falconi"
Your logic is infallible, I bow to you, sir.

Thank you.
Title: The Chozo are drug lords
Post by: Kagemitsu on June 26, 2005, 12:02:04 am
Ha ha ha! Very well done, Sir Kibble! I too, bow to you.
Title: The Chozo are drug lords
Post by: Trigger on June 26, 2005, 08:07:34 pm
Pirate, once again (surprizingly XP) you prove yourself worthy of a few good chuckles.

*salutes*
Title: The Chozo are drug lords
Post by: Red Scarlet on July 02, 2005, 08:07:31 pm
(http://r0rschach.com/vidawhat.gif)
Title: The Chozo are drug lords
Post by: Pirate Cortez on July 07, 2005, 01:56:43 am
Metroid Stuff.
Title: The Chozo are drug lords
Post by: Red Scarlet on July 07, 2005, 07:12:59 pm
What's that?
Title: The Chozo are drug lords
Post by: Pirate Cortez on July 07, 2005, 07:49:08 pm
A game.

GO FREAKIN' PLAY IT.
Title: The Chozo are drug lords
Post by: Red Scarlet on July 07, 2005, 08:04:13 pm
Quote from: "Sir Kibble"
A game.

GO FREAKIN' PLAY IT.


will do
Title: The Chozo are drug lords
Post by: protoman on July 07, 2005, 08:04:19 pm
http://speeddemosarchive.com/SuperMetroid.html#100

be sure to note the name of the person who did the run.
Title: The Chozo are drug lords
Post by: Trigger on July 07, 2005, 08:05:22 pm
Quote
be sure to note the name of the person who did the run.


OH COURSE!! It's none other then the GREEN BIKER DUDE!!!
Title: The Chozo are drug lords
Post by: Red Scarlet on July 07, 2005, 08:11:10 pm
The opening post just made me go 'huh'?  :o
Title: The Chozo are drug lords
Post by: Lazlo Falconi on July 07, 2005, 09:31:48 pm
Well, it's really funny if you've played Metroid games. If not then... what's wrong with your head?
Title: The Chozo are drug lords
Post by: Swiftman on July 07, 2005, 09:34:11 pm
Yes, Scarlet. Play the Metroid games... (I'm so freaking glad I disabled image viewing. Now I don't have to wait 6 minutes to wait for Scarlet's avatar and sig to load! yayness! I would probably overload this guy's wireless internet if I did try that.)
Title: The Chozo are drug lords
Post by: Lazlo Falconi on July 07, 2005, 09:40:08 pm
Scarlet's playing one over on us. It may have been coincedence that someone named Red Scarlet was the speed runner, but check out her avatar's location.. http://www.metroid2002.com/redscarlet/sexybeam.gif
Title: The Chozo are drug lords
Post by: Swiftman on July 07, 2005, 09:43:25 pm
If Scarlet is so good with metroid, why was it confused with what Kibble said? *shot*
Title: The Chozo are drug lords
Post by: Lazlo Falconi on July 07, 2005, 09:52:53 pm
Because it takes a special kind of logic to follow that, swift. A kind of logic that normal people don't have.
Title: The Chozo are drug lords
Post by: Swiftman on July 07, 2005, 09:55:39 pm
Oh yes, the return of these 'normal people'. Knall them and their so called 'lives'. KNALL THEM I SAY!
Title: The Chozo are drug lords
Post by: Trigger on July 07, 2005, 09:56:30 pm
YOU'VE GOT 666 POSTS SWIFTMAN!!! IF YOU SUBTRACT 111 FROM YOUR POST COUNT RIGHT NOW!!! YOUR T3H DEVIL!!!! i2gfoi1gvfka;dbf
Title: The Chozo are drug lords
Post by: Swiftman on July 07, 2005, 10:04:14 pm
I am NOT the devil. Please, do NOT say taht about me, Trigger. I do my damndest to be as good as possible. (may I remind you who got purgatory? Oh, SNAP! *shot*)

And incase you can't tell, it's 780 posts. (man, I've been posting like mad...)
Title: The Chozo are drug lords
Post by: Lazlo Falconi on July 07, 2005, 10:05:23 pm
And then there's Lazlo, with like... 5.
Title: The Chozo are drug lords
Post by: Red Scarlet on July 07, 2005, 10:06:20 pm
I used the 'WHAT' thing because the story sounded rather..strange and WHAT-ish.

I read about a paragraph and thought "wtf is this" so I posted the WHAT thing.
Title: The Chozo are drug lords
Post by: Swiftman on July 07, 2005, 10:18:19 pm
Read my Snowcraft story, Scarlet. It's way more sensical than Kibble's little snippet there. (please?)
Title: The Chozo are drug lords
Post by: Lazlo Falconi on July 07, 2005, 10:19:28 pm
</Shameless self promotion>

Seriously, read it though, it's good.
Title: The Chozo are drug lords
Post by: Swiftman on July 07, 2005, 10:24:58 pm
I sure hope it is. I have SO much riding on that story....

But, look at what we've done. We've defiled Kibble's thread!

Has anyone heard of Metroid Prime Pinball for DS yet? I think that's a bad idea.... Metroid is a bad-ass game, not a pinball game! I've yet to see a parody of Samus that didn't make her badass. Seeing her as kiddy and stuff.... Wouldn't mix in my mind.....
Title: The Chozo are drug lords
Post by: Lazlo Falconi on July 07, 2005, 10:25:50 pm
Actually, Metroid Pinball doesnt' look too bad. If I had a scanner I'd show you some screenies.
Title: The Chozo are drug lords
Post by: protoman on July 07, 2005, 10:26:24 pm
yes, this is THE scarlet ... go to that link i posted. :P
Title: The Chozo are drug lords
Post by: Swiftman on July 07, 2005, 10:27:01 pm
I've looked at screenshots at Gamespot. I didn't like it. (but pinball has never been my forte, really....)
Title: The Chozo are drug lords
Post by: Lazlo Falconi on July 07, 2005, 10:27:32 pm
How could you..? Pinball is awesome!
Title: The Chozo are drug lords
Post by: Swiftman on July 07, 2005, 10:29:09 pm
Sorry. After the sheer awesomeness and action of Descent, a game like Pinball just isn't that appealing anymore... (one could easily make it interesting for me.)

But really, pinball is slow and bleh compared to Descent. I'm way more the action kind of guy than anything else. I like games that are FAST!
Title: The Chozo are drug lords
Post by: Lazlo Falconi on July 07, 2005, 10:32:42 pm
F-Zero GX is for you then.
Title: The Chozo are drug lords
Post by: Herb on July 07, 2005, 10:42:50 pm
haha metroid pinball

whats next? young, middle, and old Samus in the next Super Smash Bros

maybe mother brain will be in it too
Title: The Chozo are drug lords
Post by: Swiftman on July 07, 2005, 10:48:51 pm
I think Ridley would be a sweet addition.

"Oh, did you just spit a fireball at me? TAKE THIS!" *flames fly and burn mario*
"Mama mia!"
Title: The Chozo are drug lords
Post by: Lazlo Falconi on July 07, 2005, 11:04:20 pm
I think Ridley would be too ultra powerful.
Title: The Chozo are drug lords
Post by: Swiftman on July 07, 2005, 11:05:08 pm
THAT's The point! Make him an ultra-secret really hard to get character that only one person can play as. (I hate having 4 samus's going around.)
Title: The Chozo are drug lords
Post by: Lazlo Falconi on July 07, 2005, 11:06:21 pm
That would be unfair, though... Ridley vs Kirby? I think not.
Title: The Chozo are drug lords
Post by: Herb on July 07, 2005, 11:06:49 pm
it would be cool to have more than 4 people fighting at a time in the next game

8 would be good

so would 128
Title: The Chozo are drug lords
Post by: Lazlo Falconi on July 07, 2005, 11:10:25 pm
I think that so far they have 8 player support over WiFi, 4 players in one room.
Title: The Chozo are drug lords
Post by: Herb on July 07, 2005, 11:11:47 pm
yea thats what ive heard too

but the PS3 apparently does 7, which is random, and how does the screen split for that?
Title: The Chozo are drug lords
Post by: Swiftman on July 07, 2005, 11:26:35 pm
Coudl be online or 2 TV's.
Title: The Chozo are drug lords
Post by: Lazlo Falconi on July 07, 2005, 11:40:06 pm
The controllers will have small screens on them.
Title: The Chozo are drug lords
Post by: Swiftman on July 08, 2005, 12:02:46 am
Like the old gamboy screens? yeah right. That'd suck.

By t3h way, raise your hand if you would like to see a smash bros for the DS! *raises hand*
Title: The Chozo are drug lords
Post by: Lazlo Falconi on July 08, 2005, 12:09:06 am
*raises hand, which has a DS in it, unlike another fast person's* ;P
Title: The Chozo are drug lords
Post by: Swiftman on July 08, 2005, 12:13:48 am
*glares at Lazlo for stupid pun*

Oh, well. I jsut would like to see it for the sake of other peoples. DS emulation is getting pretty godo I hear, so it can't be too far now.
Title: The Chozo are drug lords
Post by: Lazlo Falconi on July 08, 2005, 12:25:33 am
Actually, I can run a DS game perfectly on my computer. The only problem is, the only game I've been able to do this with is Ping Pals, which doesn't work in one player.
Title: The Chozo are drug lords
Post by: Swiftman on July 08, 2005, 12:27:07 am
Cool. the DS hasn't been out for a year yet and already massive progress is being made. Faster than the CPS3, at any rate....
Title: The Chozo are drug lords
Post by: Lazlo Falconi on July 08, 2005, 12:29:25 am
Actually, the emulator is from a nintendo devkit, supposedly leaked by some developer.
Title: The Chozo are drug lords
Post by: Swiftman on July 08, 2005, 12:32:54 am
Well, it's a start.
Title: The Chozo are drug lords
Post by: Red Scarlet on July 08, 2005, 01:56:30 am
I will check it out later, not in a reading mood currently.
Title: The Chozo are drug lords
Post by: Swiftman on July 08, 2005, 07:55:46 am
Sweet. XD
Title: The Chozo are drug lords
Post by: Pirate Cortez on July 12, 2005, 02:02:56 am
I'm always sweet.
Title: The Chozo are drug lords
Post by: Swiftman on July 12, 2005, 02:18:02 am
If you say so. If Skull came, he would be more so, I say.
Title: The Chozo are drug lords
Post by: Lazlo Falconi on July 12, 2005, 02:27:49 am
The ladies all say I taste sweet XD
Title: The Chozo are drug lords
Post by: Swiftman on July 12, 2005, 02:28:28 am
You wish. XD