Script ver. 2'd.
Killer Exigency
Spinal: *sighs, standing over Eyedol’s dead body* Fulgore, why do you have to kill almost everything that moves?
Fulgore: Why do you have to be so dead?
Spinal: Because I’m hardcore like that. ‘Sides, beats your sorry metal ass any day.
Fulgore: And yet look who ended up having to do all of the work, ME.
Spinal: What did he do to you anyways?
Fulgore: He looked at me funny.
Spinal:*stares at Eyedol’s weird cyclopsian face* Uh…right.
Riptor: *badass hiss* enough of this! Let us go and get….
S+F: Get what?
Riptor: SSSSSSLLLLLLUUUUUURRRRRPPPPPIIIIIEEEEEEEESSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!
Spinal: Sure, I’m up for that.
Fulgore: SUGAR! Whoohooo!
::scene change, to convenience store::
Scene: [anything between double :: marks are scene descriptions and camera movements, kay?] ::Clerk behind standard register, has a name tag with Jason on it and he looks REMARKABLY like Drifter, and he looks very worried.
::The trio stand beside the slurpee machine, which has a picture of Glacius posing on it, along with the name Gla-CEE written above it, Fulgore with green, Spinal with brown [cola like] and Riptor with red::
Fulgore: Mmm…. Mountain Dewd.
Spinal: Pebsi can kick Mountain Dewd’s ass anyday.
Fulgore: ::camera focuses on the two of them, leaving Riptor out:: You’re just jealous because you don’t have any beverage processing units to speak of.
Spinal: ::drunken slurpee wads fall to floor through ribs, a large pile has accumulated, increasing Jason’s apprehension:: What’s your point?
Fulgore: *takes a drink* my point is that we are wasting money BUYING you that slurpee.
Spinal: No your not.
Fulgore: Then how come a useless pile of it is on the floor?
Spinal: No no, look, Riptor’s already spooked the clerk enough. We can just walk out and he wouldn’t do a thing..
::suddenly the camera shifts to Riptor at the counter, Jason white with fright and not moving, and Riptor with a suddenly redder slurpee, inside is a beating heart, and a mangled body of a customer on the ground::
S+F: RIPTOR!
Riptor: What?
Fulgore: *drinks from slurpee* did you add more blood to your slurpee?
::Riptor looks around nervously, and slides the body behind a shelf with his foot::
Riptor: Nu uh. Whatever gives you that idea?
::camera shift to everyone::
Spinal: Eh, right. Let’s just leave this clerk guy behind. And don’t you dare try and eat him Riptor!
Riptor: *grumbles*
::the three walk out, Riptor taking a Mars bar as he leaves::
::pause::
Jason: *twitches with each word* Fif, fif, fifty, cecececent puh puh puh… *faints*
::scene change to walking on sidewalk, camera focused above their hips, so they can just move up and down, for easy animation
::
Fulgore: Hey, did you guys see “TPH in the City†on TV last night?
Spinal: Yeah! Did you see Trigger put that nuke in Lazlo’s pants? *drinks from slurpee, dropping through ribs* Oh man, I thought I was going to die laughing!
Riptor: I liked it better when Jehuty shot Sara!
Fulgore: Jehuty ALWAYS does that to newcomers.
Riptor: That doesn’t mean I don’t like it!
Spinal: You like ANY kind of violence.
Fulgore: *rolls eyes…… somehow, maybe a rotation of the head* Look Spinal. *sirens are heard*
Spinal: *Looks over* What?
Fulgore: A BIRD!
Spinal: *typical anime sweatdrop*
::sirens come a-wailing, 3 cop cars swing in, megaphone is heard::
Cop on megaphone: You three! You are hereby placed under arrest for the theft of those three slurpees and killing a civilian!
::all three look down to their slurpees, then over at Riptor who shrugs and giggles slightly, Spinal takes a drink::
Cop: Put the slurpees down on the ground and step away with your hands up!
Spinal: Oh yeah? *slurp* You and what army?
::gun clicks are heard from the cops::
Spinal: Good enough for me. *places slurpee on ground and starts to back up*
Fulgore: Err….. *reluctantly places slurpee on ground and takes one step back, slips on a wad of dripped slurpee from Spinal and falls onto back*
::cops open fire on Fulgore::
::camera still on hip level, shots fly for Fulgore, hidden by camera, as ricochet sounds are heard and Riptor just stands there, unmoving::
Fulgore: *Stands up* that was it? Sheesh, they certainly don’t make bullets like they used to.
Cop, still on megaphone: This is your last warning! Put down the slurpee or we will open fire!
Fulgore: I already have my slurpee on the ground!
Cop: I was talking to the dinosaur there!
Fulgore: *turns to Riptor*
Spinal: *leans in at an angle behind Ful and Rip and talks* don’t do it, Rip! They said they would shoot you if you put your slurpee down!
Fulgore: *turns around to face Spinal* that’s not what they said!
Spinal: Yeah! They said ‘put down the slurpee and we will open fire’!
Fulgore: That’s NOT what they said!
Spinal: *leaning over to Fulgore and whispers* If were lucky they might shoot him now and put him out of our misery.
Fulgore: Ya know, how about I take this claw and shove it up you-
Cop: One last warning! Put the slurpee down and back away!
Riptor: *looking at the police* Could you guys hold on a second.
::all three group together for a huddle::
Riptor: *whispering* I say we kill them all! They stand no chance against us! ::smack sound and small screech from Rip::
Spinal: Idiot! If we kill them, they’ll call even more, then we kill them, then they bring in the army!
Fulgore: Your point?
::silence::
::more silence::
::cricket chirp::
::starting sounds of the jeopardy theme::
Spinal: Screw it, let’s kill them!
::Riptor lets out a primal scream and charges for the cops head first, Fulgore close behind him, claws glowing menacingly, and Spinal at the rear, bringing out his shield and sword::
::*benny hill song starts* normal cartoon cloud of smoke appears, covering all fighting sequences, random heads sticking out with normal fight noises, and topped with Earthworm Jim’s KILLER yell::
::smoke clears::
::Fulgore, Spinal and Riptor stand there,
