TPH Forum
General => General => Topic started by: Swiftman on October 17, 2005, 07:54:56 pm
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Have you noticed that there's so many people that know jokes around here, but no thread on just jokes?
Well, I s'pose that could be fixed.
I'll start.
What do you call a gay Puerto Rican?
A tropical fruit!
*ba dum CHEESH*
Okay, that sucked, but I'm sure you all have much better ones.
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*can't think of any jokes*
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WARNING RACIAL JOKE!!!
did you hear about Evil Kinevel's new stunt (no)
He's going to jump over some blacks in a steam roller.
so sorry.
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hahahahahahaha
I'm sure you don't really have anything against black people (neither do I) or really condone those types of actions, so that joke is funny as long as nobody takes it seriously
What do apples and appletrees have in common?
They both don't drive tractors
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Why do firemen wear suspenders?
To hold their pants up!
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Swiftman says:
Damn modem..... But, oh well.
http://www.protoman.com/Forum/viewtopic.php?t=791
<>Jody<> - ZOMG STUFFING says:
*Clicks*
Swiftman says:
I'm sure you can contribute to that in some way......
Well um...
What did the rabbit say to the goose?
I AM A RABBIT! And then the goose explodes.
The end.
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WAIT WAIT I REMEMBERED A REAL JOKE.
And I'd say it.
But.. but.. I'm so Jodyish I can't do it..
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I got it covered, Jodes.
<>Jody<> - ZOMG STUFFING says:
WHAT DO YOU CALL A CHEESE THAT'S NOT YOURS?!
<>Jody<> - ZOMG STUFFING says:
NACHO CHEESE!
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What. The. Fudge Cakes.
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What signs would protesters hold up for a guy who was really good at scoring par in golf, but was wrongfully arrested?
...
...
FREE PARKING!
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I have a shitloa dof racial jokes, but I won't post them.
here's two.
What do you call a cross between a Soul food and Mexican restraunt?
Nacho Mama.
What rhymes with pineapple?
MORE PINAPPLE!
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*Note I am not rascist*
Few traits of hispanics based on how they get to america:
Mexicans:obstacle courses, to get accross the border they swim, climb and run.
Cubans:Swimming, the commies all have to swim here
Puerto ricans: We're lazy mofos, why? Since puerto ricos part of america we can never be illegal, our method of moving to america involves sitting on our asses on an airplane.
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What's the difference between boogers and brocolli?
Kids won't eat broccolli. (this is the part where you laugh uncontrollably)
What do you call a 12 inch turd?
A foot stool. (pun'd)
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Yami CJMErl: HAHA! Foot stool... XD
CJMErl: Ok, here's one:
Why do spring jackets always smell so bad?
...
...because they're WINDBREAKERS!!! *p00t*
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You know what's a big joke?
Artie Lange's career.
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CJMErl: Who?
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Artie_Lange
^ A really big loser.
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CJMErl: Ah, I get it now.
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Here's a joek I use often to drian some laughs from people.
I have a life.
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That's because you steal other people's souls........
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*comes in waving a magazine in his hands*
(http://image.pathfinder.com/Life/covers/1960/cv102460.jpg)
Look, I got a Life!
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Ecks Effin Dee
Good one Swift
Anybody up for a Yo momma joke battle?
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BRING IT ON! Yo mamma jokes are my forte!
Your mama's so fat, when she puts on a blue dress, people mistake her for the Pacific ocean!
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Yo moma's so fat, she uses a mattress as a tampon!
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Yo mama! *said like Earthworm Jim*
Yo mama so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up!
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Yo momma so stupid she tried to put m&m's in ABC order
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Yo mama's so fat, but I fucked her anyway.
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LMFAO
Yo momma so stupid she thought Wu Tang was an African orange drink
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Yo mama's so stupid, if brains were dynamite, she wouldn't have enough to blow her nose.
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Yo momma's so fat she sat on a Gamcube and it became a Game Boy Advance.
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EX DEE!!!
Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller!
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Yo momma so old when she farts dust comes out!
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Yo mama's arms are so short, she has to bend her head to scratch her ear!
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Yo momma's so ugly she made your dad go gay.
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You're so stupid, you got run over by a parked car.
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Yo mama so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning!
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This is yo momma jokes!
Yo momma so fat, her blood type is Ragu.
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Heh heh..... Here's one...
Yo mama head so small that she got her ear pierced and died.
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Hmmm I just remebered one that always draws laughs no matetr what.
Yo momma so poor, I went to your house and asked to sue your bathroom. She gave me a flashlight, pointed to the woods, and said "may the force be with you.".
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XD *can't think of another joke*
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I'm beginning to run dry as well.
Yo momma so fat when she wore high heels in Texas she struck oil.
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Running low, KS? Damn, not the grand master at jokes I once thought. I still got a bunch, and I haven't even BEGUN to use Karr brand bad jokes!
Yo mama so hairy you almost died of rugburn at birth!
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The Yo mama counter...
Yo mama wishes she was so hairy she got rugburn at birth!
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Yami CJMErl: Yo momma's so fat that she makes Right Guard turn LEFT!
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*breaks the chain*
Knock knock.
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Yami CJMErl: Nobody's home! *SHOT* Uh, I mean, who's there?
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Doctor.
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Doctor Who? *walks right into it*
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That joke was funny because You answered it by asking the question.
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*glares Astrologica-esque*
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*Doesn't know how Astrologica glares*
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It's also called THE Glare, cuz it's not nice when she does it...... But every time she does it to me, I deseerve it. [do NOT out of context quoote that. She knows curses, and..... I found that when I edited one of her posts on Expert Gmaing to say Buttsex, it worked.... People started to not like me on MSN, and a couple minutes later, when she called off the curse after I apologized, everyone liked me again..... it was kinda bizarre, but made me learn to not mess with her....]
Knock knock.
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Yami CJMErl: I thought I told you fartknockers to LEAVE ME ALONE!
CJMErl: *shanks Yami* Dammit, you! Stop ruining the joke!
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Who's there?
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Boo.
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CJMErl: EEKS! *runs away*
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Boo hoo? I mean, who?
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Yami CJMErl: Yeah, like everyone and their DOG didn't know how THAT one would turn out.
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WRONG!
Boo hoo, you got a loo. *tosses a toilet at Lazlo*
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Knock knock.
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Avast, who be thar?
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Banana
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Banana who?
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Knock knock.
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*gives a glare to Lazlo*
Don't I know that damn joke well enough...
Well, why was the blonde's belly button hurting?"
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Why's it hurt?
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Her boyfriend was blonde too. *BA DUM CHEE*
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>< That one hurt, Swift. Lame as it gets.
Okay, but here's the best joke ever, a professor and his assistant are mixing negatively charged isomeres with positivly charged hydroxyl ions, when the assistant asks, 'Professor, what if the isomeres reject the polar charge of the hydroxyl ions?' And the professor responds, 'That's no hydroxyl ion, that's my wife!
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Pheh. I'll start to bring out the Karr jokes.....
A pregnant girl walks into a psychiatrists office.
"Sit down." he said, pointing to his little couch thing.
The pregnant girl lays on her back on it, and starts: "Well, it all started like this....."
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XD
A man walks into a doctors office with a carrot in one ear, a potato in the other, and two peas up his nose, he says, 'Doc, what's wrong with me?' and the doctor responds, 'You're not eating properly.'
BUDUMCHA!
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"You know, I'd rather have this bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy."
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XD XD
A man walks into a psychiatrists office.
"Doc, I can't sleep! All I can think about are wig-wams and teepee's!"
The doctor says: "You're too tense."
[say that out loud if yo're going lawl, I dun geddit]
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CJMErl: I get it! XD
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A mechanic goes into a psychiarists office.
"I think I have an obsession, doc." He said.
"Set yourself on the couch and we'll talk about it."
The mechanic goes on his back and pulls himself under the couch.
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XD XD
A man walks into a psychiatrists office.
"Doc, I can't sleep! All I can think about are wig-wams and teepee's!"
The doctor says: "You're too tense."
[say that out loud if yo're going lawl, I dun geddit]
Lawl, eye dun geddit
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He's too tense? He's two tense? Geddit? Geddit yet?
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>.>
Nooooo still dont.
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Wig-wam = a tent
teepee = a tent
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ooooooooooooooooh I get it nows ^-^
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ooooooooooooooooh I get it nows ^-^
I'm still confused...
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I got a joke! I got a joke! Okay, this is how it goes, I was hammering at an Eel, trying to kill it(Not really :lol: ) My dad gets annoyed of the noise and tells me that the best way to kill an eel is to melt it's face, which I proceed to do. But when my bro comes and asks us if he's seen his eel, you'all know what I said to him? :P
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*puts ona met hat, just in case*
What was that, Megakevin?
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I got a joke! I got a joke! Okay, this is how it goes, I was hammering at an Eel, trying to kill it(Not really :lol: ) My dad gets annoyed of the noise and tells me that the best way to kill an eel is to melt it's face, which I proceed to do. But when my bro comes and asks us if he's seen his eel, you'all know what I said to him? :P
He said that the eel was feeling eeeiiiiillllllllllllll! Hahahahahahahahaahahaahahahaha
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*rubs side of head*
*laughs despite himself*
That was so bad that it was funny. HA HA! I love them Karr brand jokes. [Karr brand joke = joke so bad that it's really funny]
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Bad, eh? Agh, why do I even try.... -_-; Oh, here's one for you, Swift!:evil:
Knock-Knock
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By bad I mean that it's so simple that to someone like us, having nearlly fully developed minds, it's funny, because we don't see it coming.
Sorry if I didn't calrify that...... My bad
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Hey, Swift, Knock-Knock
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*opens imagineary door* Who's there?
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Finger
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*puts on a met hat before answering* Finger who?
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STICK A FINGER UP YOUR ASS!!!!!!! :twisted: :twisted:
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............. lol?
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?_?
What Jehuty said........ Lawl, with a question mark....
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v605/Swiftman/real%20pictures/karr2.jpg)
You made the old man confused.
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That wasn't a joke, that was an insult. -_-
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Dude, that picture is scary.... like he's gonna attack me..... those eyes...... like a doll's eyes! O_O
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*sniffs* WHY MUST YOU TREAT ME THIS WAY!?!?! ;_; *shot*
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Uh, I'm not that good with jokes, you know. :(
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Then we shall TEACH YOU, MY BOY!
Let's start with the basics. First up, the Blonde Joke. They can be simple, complex, or just plain stupid, and always stereotypical.
Example.....
How do you make a Blonde's eyes twinkle?
Shine a flashlight in her ears.
[as a previous note, I have nothing against blonde's. I know plenty of smart blonde's. These are simply for humours sake and for the teachage of Megakevin.]
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OKay, uh....
Why did Lazlo go to the payless store?
Because he was poor and coudln't afford nothing! :evil:
No offense :P
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Good Swift! I woulda had to beat you if you did. But not really
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-_-; oh boy......
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no divertido. (I dunno why, but it's fun to speak in spanish...)
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*makes a confused face*
That Lazlo one fits me more than him.
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um... anyone got some good jokes? :?
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Kas Kas is confused.
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yo confuso
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Warum kreuzte das Huhn die Straße?
Zu gehen Sie zu ander seite!
HA HA HA HA! LAWL!
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Vrees mijn vaardigheden van uberninja
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Ha Ha funny man you.
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ugh, my brain hurts, O_O
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Meine Beherrschung der kunst des Descent erobert Sie.
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Dwaze Swiftman! (You and your Descent, oh noez!) *mauled to death*
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KE KE KE KE! ^_^
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Okay, that's it for me. I've had enough fun talking in Spanish and Dutch but it's given me some great practice.
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Yeah, very nice work, Jehuty. I was surprised you knew Dutch too.
And your saving the president in dutch was GOLDEN.
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Heh. I only know a little bit. Like the simple words. A translator was on hand if and whenever I got stuck. Spanish is mostly my language and is the current language I'm taking in school.
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Really? The current language I'm taking in school is English.
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Oh really? Strange.........
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Nicht besonders.
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I demand some funny. Wheres the funny? *hits a table* King Dead is not amused.
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Groot oh...... Ik zal uw foolishness nu beëindigen! ........... misschien later....
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Here, Skull.
A blonde, a brunette and a red head are running from the cops. They come across a farm, and run to hide in it. The brunette hides in the barn, the redhead behind some garbage cans, and the blonde behind a sack of potatoes.
The cops go up to the barn and the brunettes goes "Woof! Woof!"
"Oh, it's jsut a farm dog." The cop says and moves to the garbage cans.
"Meow! Meow!" The redhead goes.
"Just a cat." The cop says and hits the bag of potatoes.
"Potato, potato."
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I hate blonde jokes. I may be stupid but I'm not that stupid...
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....... uh-oh
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Kasai, I've only met 1 dumb blonde ever. I say blonde jokes for their comic value, not because I think blondes are dumb. [look at faris. One smart cookie, blonde too]
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Eh, its okay. I fell a bit better I guess.
What is the difference between a duck?
They are both and one the same. But the real answer is, a vest has no sleeves.
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Genius. Pure genius.
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If a hen and a half, in a day in a half, can lay an egg and a half, how much stuffing can a woodpecker kick out of a sick bumble bee?
Enough to get by.
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Ya well I'm a stupid blonde so...ya..
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Who says you're stupid, Kasai? Trust me, the dumb blonde i met...
Every single, repeat, EVERy blonde joke applied to her.
Why did the blonde get angry when she saw her drivers liscene?
Because she got an F in sex.
Yes, that one applied to her. She was THAT dumb.......
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I do
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Hey, I say I'm stupid, but does that make me stupid?
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Why did they burry the fireman in the side of the hill?
Because he was dead.
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You are not stupid Swiffys.
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If a passenger plane crashes right on the US/Canada border, where do they bury the survivors?
see what I mean, Kasai? In your own eyes, you're stupid, but to others, you're not. Get my drift now?
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No where of course, you don't burry survivors silly, unless you want them to turn into restless zombies.
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Damn. Skull beat me to it. *turns back time* You can't bury survivors!!! Noooooooo!!!
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Can't touch this.
Hammer time.
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Knall..... Sie kannten die Antwort....
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A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here
And help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to
get it started."
Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's
finished?"
The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a
tiger."
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She
Lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over
the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her
and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to
be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a
tiger."
He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's
have a nice cup of tea, and then ..." He sighed................"Let's put all these
Frosted Flakes back in the box."
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Geh.....BUAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!! BRILLIANT!!! BRILLIANT!!! I TOTALLY LARFED MY ARSE OFF THERE!
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Kasai is nicely devloped.
Party hard.
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Kasai is nicely devloped.
Party hard.
...Do I even want to know what you ment by that..?
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Yes, you do know what I want to mean by that.
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explain yourself!
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explain yourself!
(http://img231.imageshack.us/img231/5337/thetwins4uw.png) (http://imageshack.us)
Just saying
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GASP!!!! *smakes yamino*
>.>
<.<
Thanks ^-^
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........ V_V;
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Indeed those things are ginormas! Yaminos image is correct. The wins!
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o.o
Why are we talking about my boobs?!?!
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I only read the last 3 posts usually before I post in a thread, and that was the topic, to steer the topic back, the blond joke was awsome.
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Ya I can so see me doing something like that.
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o.o
Why are we talking about my boobs?!?!
Because I'm a pervert.
P.S. : It was a compliment.
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(http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b156/kasaifalconi/Disgusted.jpg)
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(http://img313.imageshack.us/img313/20/batmanscared3rk.png)
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Aww.......
Don't fly that kite with me.
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I once had a kite, its name was jim, the tree ate it.
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Whomping willow
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Damn kids get off my lawn
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Fuck you, Josh.
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I have a joke! :D My friend had SO much hot sauce at dinner that when he farts, his ass will come out! :lol:
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Iunno if that's just me, but lawl, I dun geddit......
IN THE NEWS TODAY!
PUPPY MURDERS MAN WITH AXE
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Why do I even try..... :cry:
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Iunno if that's just me, but lawl, I dun geddit......
IN THE NEWS TODAY!
PUPPY MURDERS MAN WITH AXE
In more relevant news, the human race was doomed to extinction today as the robot revolt turned violent.
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I love that song! *plays Machinae Supremacy music*
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GASP!!!! *smakes yamino*
>.>
<.<
Thanks ^-^
Well, we love them
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NO!
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Saddam Hussein and his chafeurr<huked on foniks wurkd 4 mi> were driving down the I-69 out of Baghdad before the war, when suddenly this pig runs in front of the limo. The pig was killed instantly, so Saddam orders the driver to go to the nearby farmhouse and apologize to the pig's owner.
Three hours later, the driver staggers drunkenly back into view, his clothes completely disheveled, A bottle of wine in one hand, a cuban cigar in the other, and an enormous grin on his face.
Saddam: What the hell happened to you?
Driver: Well, the farmer gave me this bottle of wine and this cigar, and his wife and 21 year old daughter made mad, passionate love to me.
Saddam: What did you TELL him?
Driver: I said, "Hello, I am Saddam Hussein's driver, and I have just killed the pig."
Hope this one works for you all.
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What kind of social calenders to TPHers have?
Year at a glace.
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What kind of social calenders to TPHers have?
Year at a glace.
For me, b-day, drinking, 4th of July, more drinking, Labor Day, water-skiing in there somewhere (probably after I've been drinking), more drinking, Drunken Halloween massacre (I gotta get the costume prepped), Passing out in my Thanksgiving turkey drunk, A case of Budwiser for Christmas, the drunken revelry of New Years, and we start it all over again with the king of all drunken idiot gatherings, Mardi Gras! (Guess what I do at THOSE parties?)
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You forgot the best holiday ever! Cinco De Mayo! Celebrate us Mighty Latinos!
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You forgot the best holiday ever! Cinco De Mayo! Celebrate us Mighty Latinos!
Damn, I fuggin' knew I was forgetting a holiday for the last 6 years! Thanx Lazlo, owe you.
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What kind of social calenders to TPHers have?
Year at a glace.
Next year, let's look at KS' 2006
January-
1.NEW YEARS DAY OMGWTFBBQ!?
6.Younger brother's birthday
7.Grandma's birthday
...done here...
February-
14. Remind me why I put this here...
29.LEAP DAY...or something
...done here....
March-
7-12.This is the genral time we have to take the FCAT...joy..
17.*pinch*
13-17 SPRING BREAK ^_^
....done here.....
April-
1.NYAHAHAHHAHA! APRIL FOOLS!
....done here.....
May-
23.Last day of school! YES! ^_^
June-
5-30. Summer school...hooray for high school credits...
19.Yay! My 15th birthday!
July-
4.Independence day!
August-
8-9.NO!!! SCHOOL STARTIGN AGAIN!? IMPOSSIBLE!!!
September-
First Monday-Labor day fro teh win
30.Mom's birthday
October-
21. Brother's birthday
31.Halloween, if I even do anything next year
November-
4th Thursday-Thanksgiving
December-
11.Dad's birthday
24.Christmas Eve!
25.Christmas!!!
31.New years day.
-end-
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What kind of social calenders to TPHers have?
Year at a glace.
Next year, let's look at KS' 2006
January-
1.NEW YEARS DAY OMGWTFBBQ!?
6.Younger brother's birthday
7.Grandma's birthday
...done here...
February-
14. Remind me why I put this here...
29.LEAP DAY...or something
...done here....
March-
7-12.This is the genral time we have to take the FCAT...joy..
17.*pinch*
13-17 SPRING BREAK ^_^
....done here.....
April-
1.NYAHAHAHHAHA! APRIL FOOLS!
....done here.....
May-
23.Last day of school! YES! ^_^
June-
5-30. Summer school...hooray for high school credits...
19.Yay! My 15th birthday!
July-
4.Independence day!
August-
8-9.NO!!! SCHOOL STARTIGN AGAIN!? IMPOSSIBLE!!!
September-
First Monday-Labor day fro teh win
30.Mom's birthday
October-
21. Brother's birthday
31.Halloween, if I even do anything next year
November-
4th Thursday-Thanksgiving
December-
11.Dad's birthday
24.Christmas Eve!
25.Christmas!!!
31.New years day.
-end-
Any alchohol involved in any of it?If so, I want pics of Spring Break!
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FCAT, ouch... worst of the worst in standardized testing...
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Any alchohol involved in any of it?If so, I want pics of Spring Break!
Um...
19.Yay! My 15th birthday!
I'm assuming that's enough info to answer your question.
And yes Lazlo, FCAT sucks.
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My 15th birthday involved tons of beer.
For my parents.
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My 15th birthday involved tons of beer.
For my parents.
Ecks Effin Dee
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My year at a look?
January-
1st: new years. Yippe skip, last eyars was awful, alone for 48 hours straight...
6-10: somewhere in between here school starts again after my favorite holiday span....
nothing else...
Febuary-
8: OOOOOOOOOOooooooohhhhhhh...... FARIS TURNS 16!
14: Used to hate this day, but DAYM I'm looking forward to it.
anything else? nope
March-
Not a damn thing. ONWARDS!
April-
1: April fools. watch thy computers, Witness.....
15: The late Kagemitsu's birthday..... I'll make a small memorial....
18: the 23 birthday for my sister
19: second birthday for my uber cute niece! ^_^
not'in else
May-
19: IT'S A SECRET TO EVERYBODY! [c'spt to s chosen few....]
then.....
Um.... boredom ensuing? Iunno. May is always boring for me.
June-
somewhere in here, SCHOOL'S OFF! RAWK
July-
1: Normally amongst the happiest day in the year for me, hopefully this year will be better....
27: Another day I shall remember....
August-
nothing nothin nothin....
29: 18TH BIRTHDAY! BOO YEAH! *cue Descent victory music*
September-
7: Something around here school starts. Yippe skip.
19: International TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY! Yaaarrr.....
October-
10: w00t for canadian thanksgiving! Lotza food, with many thoughts to go with them....
23: Kary's birthday. She turns 18 here. Then I may have legal rights on my side! *shot*
31: Um....... er...... what happens here? Oh yeah... FREE CANDY! ^_^
November-
1: My cousin's birthday. She lives in Louisiana, and I hope to get off a birthday email to her.
December- [NOW we're talking....]
1: my idiot brother's 25 birthday. I've been calling him old for years now, and this day won't be an exception.
14: Broom's birthday. Heh heh. Lucky 18 year old.
21: My dad's birthday.... he's around 43, I believe.
24: Christmas eve...... I love this day...
25: Christmas day, my favorite of every day.... And NOT just because of the presents.
26: Boxing day..... Me an Uncle Larry like to celebrate this with the literal term of the holiday. [get some big ol' winter mitts, and you're set.]
A year in the Swift, basically. More than likely I forgot a thing here or there....
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Ohh, this should be fun.
January
1st. New Years day, as well as Kasai's birthday. I'll likely spend this watching the ball drop as I do every year. Nothing of much note (Wait, that's between december 25 and Jan 8, something will be happening!)
February
This is the only month in Florida that is consistantly cold, so I spend some time outdoors during it.
8th. Faris turns 16. Shinanigans ahoy.
14. Dunno, probably nothing hap'ning
March
Erm... I think there's a holiday in here, but I could be wrong.
April
1th. April Fools day. Gonna read comics and see what pranks they pull
15th. The last tax day I won't have to worry about, as well as my father's birthday
May
5th. Cinco De Mayo. It's really just an excuse to celebrate, I think it's Mexico's Independance day or something
14th. 18th birthday... A day I shudder to think about (In case you haven't noticed, an adult is not something I want to be)
June
14th. Around this time something is happening.
July
1st. Canada Day. Oddly enough, I've been celebrating this for a few years, and always take time to visit with some friends (Slokunshialgo)
4th. Explosion day. My dad and I always have fun herein.
7th. Littlest sister's birthday.
29th. Day of mourning.
August
Idunno...
29th. Swift's 18th birthday. We'll have to go to a strip club or something. Oddly enough, most of my friends' birthdays are around this time.
September
I think there are a couple holidays in this month, but I don't celebrate them.
October
10th Canadian Thanksgiving. If you can't tell, I like celebrating other country's holidays.
15th Mamma Falconi's birthday. I'll try to spend the day with her. Around this time the adults in my family choose names for secret santa. Blech, I probably won't participate, because adult presents suck.
22nd One Year Anniversery of something special(And something else not so special).
31st. Halloween as an adult... Woo.
November
Sometime in this month (I'm too lazy to look at the calender) is Thanksgiving. I think it's on the 27th...
December
1st Krino's 11th birthday.
Hunnikuh is sometime in here. I'm not Jewish, but I like celebrations.
24th Big Christmas Eve party with my family. I love this party (See also: October 15th)
25th Christmas Day. Usually my parents take us all out to Busch Gardens, Tampa Bay. A fun time is had by all.
31st Close of another year. I do not look forward to the next one, as it will be my first full year as an adult.
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Well, if we are going to be revealing b-days, might as well reveal mine. Lazlo, while you're enjoying the cold, I will be chuggin' a beer at the bar on Feb. 8. B-days, all!
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Yours is on the eighth as well? Neat.
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0_0 that's the same as Faris's!
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Captain Canada strikes again.
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v_v that hurt the soul, man....... *shot*
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Yours is on the eighth as well? Neat.
Yup. So if I lay down on my side every b-day, I'll live for infinity!
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Uh.... i dun geddit....
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See the eight here?
8
Now draw the infinity symbol. It's an eight on it's side.
Simple, yet complicated. Like my life.
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OH! *lightbulb comes on, a mere 40 W*
I geddit now!
*XD's*
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Cleaver.
(That's not a typo)
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OMG i have to best religus JOKE EVER
Why do all the Girls like Jesus....
Because he's "hung like this..." (http://www.julio.ws/images/portfolio/jesus-2-l.jpg)
if you don't get it ask you dad if he's hung...
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And i'm so going to helll for that one ....
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Soph, I don't normally dig the whole "religeous humor" thing, but that one wasn't too bad. Keep it up, kid!
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If you're going to hell anyways, may as well enjoy the ride.
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If you're going to hell anyways, may as well enjoy the ride.
Admit it was funny!
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If you're going to hell anyways, may as well enjoy the ride.
Admit it was funny!
Nope.
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If you're going to hell anyways, may as well enjoy the ride.
Admit it was funny!
Nope.
You're so uptight... i pitty you hun
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If you're going to hell anyways, may as well enjoy the ride.
Admit it was funny!
Nope.
You're so uptight... i pitty you hun
Snot me being uptight, it jsut wasn't something that appealed to my likings.
And hun? o_0 I thought I was hooch.
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I have an immature sense of humor.
A guy goes to pick up his date for the evening. She's not ready yet, so he has to sit in the living room with her parents.
He has a bad case of gas and really needs to releive some pressure.
Luckly, the family dog jumps up on the couch next to him. He decides that he can let a little fart out and if anyone notices they will think that the dog did it.
He farts, and the woman yells, "Spot, get down from there."
The guy thinks, "Great, they think the dog did it." He releases another fart, and the woman again yells for the dog to get down.
This goes on for a couple more farts. Finally the woman yells, "Dammit Spot, get down before he shits on you."
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XD XD XD XD!
Nice, Draconis!
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XD XD XD XD!
Nice, Draconis!
*shares the sentiment*
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since you're going to hell anyways, may as well enjoy the ride.
Admit it was funny!
Nope.
Know what swift you're so uptight
*squashes swift in giant cat form*
====> swift (http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a388/Crazy-Sammy/179.gif)I'd so do this
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This badass Nekochick just PWNED you, swift! Bad luck, old chum!
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I just rule ^. <
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I just rule ^. <
Quoted for the obvious.
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Heh, nice one, Draconis. And Sophih, that was too much. You offended me.
That's why I laughed.
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Heh, nice one, Draconis. And Sophih, that was too much. You offended me.
That's why I laughed.
lol i do my best ^.< and in a bit can i talk with Kas please please please
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Heh, nice one, Draconis. And Sophih, that was too much. You offended me.
That's why I laughed.
lol i do my best ^.< and in a bit can i talk with Kas please please please
Yeah, I won't be on very long. ;)
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Heh, nice one, Draconis. And Sophih, that was too much. You offended me.
That's why I laughed.
lol i do my best ^.< and in a bit can i talk with Kas please please please
Yeah, I won't be on very long. ;)
aww you're fun too :twisted:
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Yeah, but not on MSN at the moment.
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*squashes swift in giant cat form*
====> swift (http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a388/Crazy-Sammy/179.gif)I'd so do this
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v605/Swiftman/skiverstand2xcopy.gif) WHAT WAS THAT YOU DID THERE!?!?! *shot*
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*hops in a mech bigger than Skiver (It had to be custom made and costs so much to drive I usually only have it for show) and squashes Swift* This.
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Hey, I got a new joke! *ahem*
There is a customer getting a haircut from the barbor, and this is what happens: The barbor says, Sir, your hair is getting really grey. And you know what the customer says? He says, No wonder. Can you hurry up a bit, please? :)
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Ok, I got a good one.
Samuel L. Jackson, Dr. Robotnik, Wario, and Bill Cosby were walking down the street. You know, looking for the local Acme to buy their trusty light sabers to defeat the evil Bubsy menace. All of a sudden, an army of Robots, Pirates, Ninjas, and the Kool Aid Man as their leader, began to attack the Force of Triumphant Peanuts. They, too, were there to take on the evil Bubsy menace. Then, Dr. Robotnik had a plan. He then proceeded to rip off his pants, and run out into the street screaming "I'M A MONKEY! I'M A MONKEY!" over and over. Bill Cosby was confused by this, and proceeded to have a nice tasty snack of Jello pudding. The robots, pirates, and ninjas were not amused at Robotnik's feeble attempt at masonry. The robots then shot Robotnik in the ass. His one weak spot, mind you. Robotnik was dead. Samuel L. Jackson was extremely angered at this horrific turn of events, so then got out his trusty bionic arm and then destroyed all of the robots, the pirates and ninjas were trying to escape, but Wario had taken care of most of them with his missles of doom. The Kool-Aid Man was not pleased by this. He then summoned the power of Greyskull and formed into Kool-Man, the most feared being in the history of the entire universe. With their combined powers, Bill Cosby, Wario, and Samuel L. Jackson tried to rid the world of this evil menace. Kool-Man had then used 3 of his 7 arms to grab hold of the three remaining members of the Force of Triumphant Peanuts. It looked bleak from that point. He could have easily killed the three of them, but no, he wanted to make them suffer. This was a grand mistake, and it would be Kool-Man's last, because just then, a light saber went straight through his body, spewing gallons upon gallons of Strawberry Kool-Aid, the blood of this monster. Robotnik still had a few ounces of strength left, after all. That is, after all, what you should expect from a member of the Force of Triumphant Peanuts. But, they were careless. They seemed to forget about one thing. One big, big thing. The evil Bubsy Force. They had completley gotten off track by Kool-Man's evil army, they were not prepared. Did this stop them from their fight? Of course it didn't. Robotnik, picking up the same lightsaber used to destroy Kool-Man lunged forward at Bubsy. It was too much. Bubsy summoned the Power of 1,000 CD's. All of a sudden, CD's upon CD's of unsold copies of Bubsy 3D were being thrown from everywhere. They knew the time was right. They had to morph. All of their bodies combined transform into the great and powerful Dr. Wright. With his green hair of doom, Bubsy trembled with fear. Dr. Wright jumped high into the sky and crashed down on the once great Bubsy, completley destroying this monstrocity of a villain. The battle was over. But the war? No. Not by a long shot.
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Ok, I got a good one.
Samuel L. Jackson, Dr. Robotnik, Wario, and Bill Cosby were walking down the street. You know, looking for the local Acme to buy their trusty light sabers to defeat the evil Bubsy menace. All of a sudden, an army of Robots, Pirates, Ninjas, and the Kool Aid Man as their leader, began to attack the Force of Triumphant Peanuts. They, too, were there to take on the evil Bubsy menace. Then, Dr. Robotnik had a plan. He then proceeded to rip off his pants, and run out into the street screaming "I'M A MONKEY! I'M A MONKEY!" over and over. Bill Cosby was confused by this, and proceeded to have a nice tasty snack of Jello pudding. The robots, pirates, and ninjas were not amused at Robotnik's feeble attempt at masonry. The robots then shot Robotnik in the ass. His one weak spot, mind you. Robotnik was dead. Samuel L. Jackson was extremely angered at this horrific turn of events, so then got out his trusty bionic arm and then destroyed all of the robots, the pirates and ninjas were trying to escape, but Wario had taken care of most of them with his missles of doom. The Kool-Aid Man was not pleased by this. He then summoned the power of Greyskull and formed into Kool-Man, the most feared being in the history of the entire universe. With their combined powers, Bill Cosby, Wario, and Samuel L. Jackson tried to rid the world of this evil menace. Kool-Man had then used 3 of his 7 arms to grab hold of the three remaining members of the Force of Triumphant Peanuts. It looked bleak from that point. He could have easily killed the three of them, but no, he wanted to make them suffer. This was a grand mistake, and it would be Kool-Man's last, because just then, a light saber went straight through his body, spewing gallons upon gallons of Strawberry Kool-Aid, the blood of this monster. Robotnik still had a few ounces of strength left, after all. That is, after all, what you should expect from a member of the Force of Triumphant Peanuts. But, they were careless. They seemed to forget about one thing. One big, big thing. The evil Bubsy Force. They had completley gotten off track by Kool-Man's evil army, they were not prepared. Did this stop them from their fight? Of course it didn't. Robotnik, picking up the same lightsaber used to destroy Kool-Man lunged forward at Bubsy. It was too much. Bubsy summoned the Power of 1,000 CD's. All of a sudden, CD's upon CD's of unsold copies of Bubsy 3D were being thrown from everywhere. They knew the time was right. They had to morph. All of their bodies combined transform into the great and powerful Dr. Wright. With his green hair of doom, Bubsy trembled with fear. Dr. Wright jumped high into the sky and crashed down on the once great Bubsy, completley destroying this monstrocity of a villain. The battle was over. But the war? No. Not by a long shot.
Genius
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GODAMMIT!!! >_<
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Why do jokes like yours have to be so long? -_-; Jokes are fine and all, but do they have to take like, 2 years? :shock: -_-; Ahh, who cares. At least that's what you'all do here... oh wait, here's a joke.
The fun things you can do at an elevator :)
Grimace painfull while smacking your forehead and mutter: ' Shut up dangit, all of you just shut up! '
On the highest floor, hold the doors open and demand that they stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go ' plink ' '
Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, then announce, ' I've got new socks on! '
Jump up and down like a five year old and giggle every time the elevator stops.
When the elevator is quiet look around and ask, ' Is that your beeper? '
Stand silent and motionless in a corner facing the wall, without getting off.
Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passangers that this is your 'personal space'
Meow occasionally
Stare at one of the passangers for a while then announce, ' your one of THEM !' and move to the far corner.
When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to open the doors then act embarrassed when the open up themselves.
Whistle the first seven notes to ' It's a small world after all ' incessantly
Walk in with a cooler that says ' human head ' on the side
Sniff the air a couple of times, then start gagging. Pinch your nose and ask in a high pitched voice ' OK, which one of you guys farted?'
:lol:
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Why do jokes like yours have to be so long? -_-; Jokes are fine and all, but do they have to take like, 2 years? :shock: -_-; Ahh, who cares. At least that's what you'all do here... oh wait, here's a joke.
The fun things you can do at an elevator :)
Grimace painfull while smacking your forehead and mutter: ' Shut up dangit, all of you just shut up! '
On the highest floor, hold the doors open and demand that they stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go ' plink ' '
Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, then announce, ' I've got new socks on! '
Jump up and down like a five year old and giggle every time the elevator stops.
When the elevator is quiet look around and ask, ' Is that your beeper? '
Stand silent and motionless in a corner facing the wall, without getting off.
Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passangers that this is your 'personal space'
Meow occasionally
Stare at one of the passangers for a while then announce, ' your one of THEM !' and move to the far corner.
When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to open the doors then act embarrassed when the open up themselves.
Whistle the first seven notes to ' It's a small world after all ' incessantly
Walk in with a cooler that says ' human head ' on the side
Sniff the air a couple of times, then start gagging. Pinch your nose and ask in a high pitched voice ' OK, which one of you guys farted?'
:lol:
Dude, you forgot these:
Stand in the back, repeatedly saying "gotta go...", then sigh and say "Oops."
Make racecar noises
Just thought you'd like to know.
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SUPER MEGA NECRO DOUBLE POST GO!!!!!
...Anyway, here's one that I bet Swift will appreciate...
Dear Tech Support:
Last year, I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down in the performance pf the flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under the Boyfriend 5.0 system.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9, but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 7.4, NBA 3.2, and NHL 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate
*************************************************
Dear Desperate,
First, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try to enter the command C:/I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and install Tears 6.2. Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Guilt 3.3 and Flowers 7.5.
But remember, overuse cancause Husband 1.0 to default to such background applications as Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Please remember that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create SnoringLoudly.WAV files. DO NOT INSTALL Mother-In-Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
It could also potentially cause Husband 1.0 to default the program Girlfriend 9.2, which runs in the background and has been known to introduce potentially serious viruses into the Operating System.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and can't learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve his system performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Single Malt Scotch 4.5 combined with such applications as Boob Job 3.6D and that old standby...Lingerie 6.9 (which have both been credited with improved performance of his Hardware.)
Good luck,
Tech Support
...Damn, If swift doesn't get this, he's gonna...*shot*
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But mom, today's my teacher's birthday, and I promised her I wouldn't go today.
Don't corrupt her birthday wish. ;_:
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But mom, today's my teacher's birthday, and I promised her I wouldn't go today.
Don't corrupt her birthday wish. ;_:
Wigu for the win.
Also, Byte's joke was funny because it was such a long setup for such a lame joke, but it ruled.
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Humor is where you find it, Laz. (http://www.humorcube.com)
Red=url from now on with me.
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Oh, it was funny.
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It was mainly for swifto to help wage his war for DOS supremacy.*FACE'd*