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Topics - Lazlo Falconi

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General / My Job Here is Done
« on: October 30, 2009, 02:30:59 am »
Since Bladegash is posting now I don't have to anymore. See ya in a thousand years.

General / Important Information About your Health Insurance
« on: September 22, 2009, 02:12:42 am »

General / Lazy Forum Daze
« on: August 20, 2009, 11:37:37 pm »
The three most (Read: Only) active members are online right now. This calls for a post.

General / Another Day on the McQuarrie
« on: August 17, 2009, 10:14:28 pm »
<!-- If you wish to join, go ahead and do so at any time with any post, but just so you know, this is a continuation of this thread. I'd highly suggest reading it, as no matter how many times I do, I keep laughing very loudly. It's the most ridiculous thing ever. Feel free to join but remember that we've reconstructed the solar system, Venus, Mercury and the Sun have been destroyed, in it's place, Jupiter is a star, there is no asteroid belt, Mars is the closest planet to the sun, followed by Earth, then Saturn, Neptune and Uranus. Yeah that's exactly how it is. -->

Unfiltered light was streaming through the windows of the Jupiter Orbital Station McQuarrie's large windows. The soft rabble of work being done could be heard all throughout the unfinished station. Lazlo walked along a corridor, smelling strongly of aloe and searching for Argus. When found, Lazlo decided to start up conversation, "Geez, yesterday was pretty exciting, huh?"

Argus shot Lazlo a flat look. "I received this today." He handed Lazlo a slip of paper with the great seal of Mars on it. Lazlo read it curiously.

ATTN: Argus Swift, Jupiter Orbital Station McQuarrie.

Long has The Great Planet of Mars watched McQuarrie in silence, wondering of your purposes. Yesterday, through destruction of the Sun, and the transformation of Jupiter, you had made your true intentions obvious. By destroying our scouts you have left no doubt in the minds of the Martian Senate. The Solar System is now at war. You have no chance at winning a conflict with a whole planet. Your only choice is to surrender to the rule of The Great Planet of Mars.

Under Martian rule, you will disable all weapons and have a Martian sentry and guard on duty at all times to protect you. All incoming and outgoing cargo will be taxed at the Martian rate of 5.25% with an additional 10% long-range tax. All non-cargo ships will be annexed and sold by the Martian Cabinet of Civil Obedience. Your crew members from Earth will be given the choice of denouncing their Earth citizenship or leaving McQuarrie. All non-essential personnel will be escorted off the station.

In 25 days a transitional liason will visit to oversee operations. You will comply.

Lazlo's scowl deepened with every line. "What are we gonna do about this?"

Argus shook his head, "I can't say. McQuarrie has the best pilots in the galaxy, but we just can't beat Mars in sheer numbers. Even if we win every battle, eventually our supplies and crew will deplete until the station dies off. It seems pretty hopeless."

Meanwhile, on the outer edge of the solar system, an electrical storm was brewing near the Heliosheath. So far from the influence of man, it went undetected. The sort of storm that brewed from a massive matter-energy transportation device. This storm was caused by none other than the Beltino Orbital Gate in orbit around Corneria, fourth planet of the Lylat system. The very same planet Lazlo had come from. When the freak space storm disappeared, three ships, somewhat similar in design to the Elwing appeared. The ships' inhabitants had been in contact with this sector of space for quite a while, with a terrorist sect known only as the SeaWolves. The large SeaWolf SeaSpace Space Base was nearby, and lowered it's defenses for the ships to dock.

Inside, the ships landed, and the three pilots hopped out of their cockpits. Wolf O'Donnell, Leon Palwaski, and Panther of the Star Wolf team were investigating. They looked around and noticed that, despite the name, there were no wolves to be found. Wolf grabbed the nearest grunt and barked, "Take me to Wolfix! Now!" The kid passed out, and Wolf glared at the next closest, who jumped and ran down a hallway. The team followed.

It was a long walk through many twisting corridors, with notched hiding spots in the walls. Wolf noted the decor as being slightly worn and mismatched. The main colors seemed to be red and gray, with black trim and hints of orange. Despite the group's reputation as a terrorist sect, there were actually many families on the base. Wolf wondered if they were raising their kids with their beliefs. A useless thought, but then what could be expected of terrorists? Wolf didn't care, he was a mercenary on a mission, he just needed to find his man.

Walking around, Wolf couldn't help but notice that nobody looked oddly at him. That was strange, most people were unaccustomed to his wolfen appearance. He stood like a man, but grey fur covered his body, and his head took on the shape of a wolf's. His hands, too, more like paws than anything else. He needed a specialized pistol and ship to allow himself to operate as the efficient mercenary he was.

At the end of the maze, Wolf and his party came to a large door labeled "Command". The man who had led them there asked them to wait, and walked through the door, closing it before Wolf had a chance to see inside. As with the rest of the base, the door was in very poor condition, probably pillaged from some other base years ago. He heard men yelling on the other side of the door, then a loud thud, and all was quiet for a while. The door opened to complete blackness, and Wolf heard a man with a rough voice ask, no, command, him to enter. He complied, and his wolf eyes quickly adjusted.

Inside was one hulking figure, on a large chair, large enough to be a throne, in the center of the circular room. There were other chairs at computers along the walls, but they were empty, with the screens turned off. Wolf motioned for his comrades to stay outside. Once in, the door closed, plunging the room into complete darkness. Wolf's eyes strained to see anything, and he kept his ears alert for any sound of movement. That rough voice again, "Wolf O'Donnell, I take it?"

Nodding, Wolf confirmed.

"Excellent, I've been waiting for you. You're looking for Lazlo Falconi, a strange man. Nobody seems to know where he came from. He's made quite a name for himself here. Sacking up with those McQuarrie scoundrels. As you know, you want him hostage, and I want his friends dead. You finally came, so I suppose you agreed on our terms?" Wolf remained silent, "Good. But I need some assurance, what makes you think you can take on these pilots?"

Wolf did not like this man's doubt, "I've fought Lazlo hundreds of times in simulations, we went through our military training together. He's a good pilot, but I can beat him. I've seen your video files of his other friends. They're no match for me. How do I know you'll have my payment ready?"

The man grunted, "It's worthless to me, why would I withhold it?" In truth it was. The small amount of the syrum he had stolen from McQuarrie had produced no cure for his condition. He had know idea what Wolf would want with it, that Wolf was to use it to infect all humans in the galaxy with the same disease Wolfix was cursed with. A similar disease to that shared by Wolf. But that was none of Wolfix' concern. He only wanted revenge against Argus Swift, the man who had wronged him so many years ago. It consumed him. Wolf almost felt pity, he had gone through the same, but killing Beltino Toad, the originator of the animal injection that had turned Wolf, had only left him with an empty feeling, and it hadn't cured him. Wolf's plan was much grander. There would once again be equality between all. No longer would he be an outcast, the sole wolf in a crowd of humans. All would be the same.

"Just make sure it gets to me. I'll have Argus here bound within a week." Wolf began walking to the door, "Oh, and stop hiding yourself. It's embarrassing." With that, he was gone.

On McQuarrie, Minion called to Argus in a panic. Argus groaned, "Can't I just have one day off?"

<!--Don't bring the SeaWolves and Star Wolf into this just yet, I want them to wait to get to McQuarrie -->

General / Sometimes...
« on: August 13, 2009, 10:41:38 pm »
I wish TPH were a read only forum. Sometimes.

General / People Always Ask Me
« on: December 21, 2008, 10:34:09 pm »
People always ask me, "Lazlo, why you always posting on TPH?" and I say TPH is awesome. Fuck MMHP fuck Capcom fuck Bob and George double helping of TPH.

General / Hey Bladegash
« on: November 30, 2008, 06:05:32 pm »
Fix your signature jeez it's been like two years. >=(

General Music / Yeah, I like Radiohead, so?
« on: October 11, 2007, 12:42:56 am »
Anyone heard In Rainbows yet? It's pretty good (Pretty free, too).

Segregation / HOLY SHIT GUISE
« on: October 11, 2007, 12:41:23 am »

Segregation / DEUS ON FORUMS
« on: March 17, 2007, 11:39:42 pm »

General Games / Hay guys am I cool yet?
« on: March 15, 2007, 11:06:05 am »
Screw pictures! These used to be in alphabetical order. I doubt they any longer are.

Battalion Wars
DDR: Mario Mix
F-Zero GX
Judge Dredd: Dredd vs Death
Zelda Collectors Disc
Wind Waker
Luigi's Mansion
Mega Man Anniverary Collection
Mega Man Network Transmission
Metroid Prime
Animal Crossing
Harr--Moving along.
Sonic Adventure DX
Sonic Adventure 2:Battle
Sonic Gems Collection
Super Smash bros Melee
Starfox Advenutres
Starfox Adventures (Don't ask)
Starfox Assault
Viewtiful Joe

Advance Wars: Dual Strike
Mario vs Donkey Kong 2: March of the Minis
Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney
Sonic Rush
Star Fox Command
Yoshi Touch and Go
Wario Ware Touched!
Mario Kart
Animal Crossing: Wild World
Feel the Magic: XY XX
Elite Beat Agents
Tetris DS

Guitar Hero
Guitar Hero II
DDR Extreme 2
In the Groove
Final Fantasy X-2 (Not mine, but a friend bought it and didn't want it anymore so he left it at my house)
Sly Cooper and the Thevius Racconis
Suikoden IV
Mega Man X Collection
We <3 Katamari

Star Fox 64
Star Fox 64
Star Fox 64 (In the box)
Mario Party 3
Diddy Kong Racing (Or as I call it, why I hate N64)
Super Mario 64
No F-Zero X? Unfortunately, not at this time...

Sega Saturn: Just NiGHTS... Into Dreams. My other games were destroyed in moving.

Sega Genesis:
Urban Strike
6-PAK (No idea what this is)
RBI Baseball 4
Jungle Strike
Dessert Strike (Odd that I don't like these Strike games)
F22 Interceptor
Sonic 2
Sonic 1
Taz In Exscape from Mars
Rocket Knight Adventures
out of the box: Shit if I'd know, they're in storage. Probably more Sonic though XD

Super NES
Star Fox

Those are the only two that still have their boxes =( Otherwise
Star Fox
Star Fox signed by Buzz Aldrin
Super Off Road
Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Kong Quest
Super Mario World
Super Mario All-Stars+World
Act Raiser
Super GameBoy
Mortal Kombat II
Probably some more in storage

Zelda: Link's Awakening (European, still in box <3)
Pokémon Red
Pokémon Blue
Pokémon Silver
Pokémon Sapphire
GameBoy Camera Yellow
GameBoy Camera Green
GameBoy Camera Red
GameBoy Camera Blue
F-Zero GP Legend (I still have the box, but it's in pretty crappy condition)
Wario Ware: Twisted
Game and Watch Gallery 4
Metroid Fusion
Metroid Zero Mission
Mega Man Battle Network 3: Blue
My as of recently unused flash cart

Well, of what I have here...
Super Mario Bros.
Super Mario Bros. 2
Super Mario Bros. 3
Legacy of the Wizard
Yoshi Cookie
Dr. Mario
Wheel of Fortune
Super Mario Bros/Duck Hunt
Possibly more, but I don't think so. If there are, I don't play those games because they suck (more than the aforementioned)

Comix / Hey guys
« on: March 14, 2007, 02:51:04 am »
Anyone remember that continue the comic we did in the General forum? Why didn't we ever finish that?

General / So i herd
« on: March 14, 2007, 02:34:10 am »
I heard there's this new guy, and he's trying to take my position as top forum-whore. Well... Let the battel begin, Deus... Let the battel begin.

General / Stephen Colbert
« on: September 01, 2006, 01:55:56 am »
Totally didn't realize this, but Stephen and I have the same physical therapist! I'd been going there for years and didn't see him till yesterday. I introduced myself, and he couldn't have been nicer - he's got a sprained finger (too cute!). Very inspiring - I'm that much closer to walking again.

Segregation / Hy TPH
« on: August 19, 2006, 02:35:53 pm »

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