PROLOGUE.One day, many years ago, there was a tribe from Itala, which was somewhere on Antartica. The wise sage Solardude, who was revered as "pretty dang awesome" Around the world.One day, the sage foretold that antartica was going to totally freeze. Then he told them something about going to this one place. Everyone gave him money, and then he led them on a pointless quest up north into Africa and to Italy, Blah Blah Blah.Along the way, they faced many dangers, inculding Polar Bears with Viking battle Axes, Pirates, Ninjas, Ninja Pirates, the chinese, Yetis, The Loch Ness Monster, and DVG, Leader of HamTopia with his Righthand man Xero, And of course their army of mutant Hamsters. With the help of the Illuminati and it's commader, GTX, they conquered these threats, and then sailed across the Mediterran into present-day Italy.The Romans were long-gone because no one expected Napoleon to drive a nuke-filled Fighter jet into Caesar's castle, thus destroying the entire Roman empire. Caesar is now bankrupt and runs an obscure pizza place In the US.Anyway, the Italians conquered the Trojans, with some kind of wooden pig that no one cares about. Then it found Rome and The Pope, and founded the Catholic Church, and then stole stuff from Persia and got rich selling rugs to Russia. And then they started the Renaissance and stuff.They prospered for many years.THEN ITALY WENT INSANE. Most people blame aliens. Anyway, it attacked Russia! Lenin counterattacked By sending Stalin into space and building a laser, and then using it to hold The Pope at ransom even though they where a long way away.Italy is still insane, And it mindlessly attacks everyone within 5 light years. one victim was the Penguins.The penguins were peaceful folk. THEN ITALY ATTACKED OH NO. The leader, Poker the Penguin, and his son, Small Child II AKA Pokey, Managed to fight them off.Even now, the Italians are planning their next invaison...OF DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
Chapter 1"On the news Today Italy is attacking Turkey, Canada, and Babylon. Poland was recenly set on fire by the Italian forces. Italy is preparing to attack Ancient Scotland. Can the Italian menace ever be stopped? Find out next time on: Stupid Boring News!""CURSE THE ITALIANS. I WILL DESTROY HIM! Come, !""Yes sir?""Get me more salsa. And one of Sturm's awesome Deathrays. I wanna torch Poland.""I thought your monologue was focused on the Italians sir.""Silence you fool! It is a plot twist!""I wasn't aware there was a plot to twist sir."Suddenly the world floods!"Help me sir!""May I see some ID? I mean... plot... twist... thingy...""Sir. This joke doesn't work. Pokey found a barrel to float in first.""Silence! I know that! The house is... sealed... or something.""then why did I-""Alright fine!"*Logic Defeats the world Flood!*"Grumble grumble... Alright. I'll kill the Italians... yeah... Thats what they get for cutting off my pizza supply... ! get me a GrumbleCake!""Yes sir...""Now I must find my corny RPG-like stat sheet to beat the Italians with!"*Find!*"MWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA! BEHOLD!"Quote LuciferHP: Alef!MP: Infinte!ATT: More than you!DEF: Invincible!Other Shit: Alot!Known Moves: Gullitone!Decapitate!Ultima 97!Draw and Quarter!STABBITY DEATH!Hadoken6!Kickass!Hyper Mode: Berserk!Items: Badass Cellphone With numbers for Badass people in it!The Chrono Trigger!Fleur Du Maul!Obilvion!Killing Edge!Badassatron! (Chaingun)Bloody Butcher! (That Cross Weapon I told NMX About)The Ocarina of Time!A Nova Bomb!The Ice Beam!"STAGE LEFT"End chapter!
LuciferHP: Alef!MP: Infinte!ATT: More than you!DEF: Invincible!Other Shit: Alot!Known Moves: Gullitone!Decapitate!Ultima 97!Draw and Quarter!STABBITY DEATH!Hadoken6!Kickass!Hyper Mode: Berserk!Items: Badass Cellphone With numbers for Badass people in it!The Chrono Trigger!Fleur Du Maul!Obilvion!Killing Edge!Badassatron! (Chaingun)Bloody Butcher! (That Cross Weapon I told NMX About)The Ocarina of Time!A Nova Bomb!The Ice Beam!
Chapter 2!3 RMX mafia members are standing outside the door, armed with Tommy Guns. One reaches for the handle when suddenly the door is slammed open. Also, due to random awesomeness, the door has laser blades that decapitate people when it is slammed really fast, so the first mafia guy falls over and dies like a pussy. The first thing that comes out of the door is Lucifer's foot, which kicks off the next guy's head. the next thing to come out is a giant chainball, which kills the last guy. Then Lucifer steps out and starts his journey.*Start of Journey!*Lucifer kills some Forest Imps that Attacked him randomly.*More Journey!*Lucifers kills some more Imps.He takes another step and more Imps appear."What the hell?!?!? I hate these RPG's..."Lucifer kills more Imps."Since when are them Imps around here? Just some random Journey-thing? I'm never taking a journey again. I'll call it an Adventure. Yeah"Lucifer takes another step and some Rabid Dogs appear."Bloody..."*One hour of killing later.**Lucifer is now covered in Imp Blood, (He liked the Imps better than the dogs) carrying severed imp arms, skulls, legs, eyes, and other imp stuff around his belt*"And if you attack me, It'll happen to you too! I guarantee! Free death for imps! Heh, this really works well...I've only been attacked by some widows and children..."Lucifer, who is to busy warding off Imps to notice,bBumps into NMX."ARRRRRRRR! HALLOWEEN IS FOR FAIRIE- Oh, wait, it's you"[/color]"ITALIANS. DESTROY. JOURNEY"Suddenly more imps come and die of imp"ITALIANS. MUST. KILL. QUICK! TO THE BATCAVE!"[/color]"YES"END CHAPTER
Chapter 3 (Lucifer's Text = Blue.)"Blah Blah Blah yeah, I gotta use like, electric fences to keep Lunar away from the Ban Neb button.""Wait, Isn't Lunar italian?""He's from the moon. The italian thing is a disguise. Hey look! A town!""Welcome to Pansy Land! *Flamethrower!* AGH!" *burns*" Stupid pansies! I burn you! Lets find a better town." *later*"Welcome to Corneria!""Corn Area? AARRRRR PIRATE SMASH!" "Agh!" "This is Probably the best we're going to get. the First town always sucks."*inside town!*"Italians are attacking!" "CRUSH THE ITALIANS!" Suddenly Sturm appears!"Worms! You will not survive my deathray!"*DEATHRAY!*Italians: BLARG! I AM DEAD! *die*"Thanks Sturm! ARRRRRRR PIRATE SMASH!"Random Guy: Agh! *die**OH NO ITALIAN TANK!* "Uwee he he! Fire 87! Nothing beats the music of hundreds of voices screaming in unison!"*Tank explodes!*Suddenly Ultros appears, Eats Someones head, Steals 2 GP, and runs off."Thanks Kefka! Lets go to the shop."TO BE CONTINUED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CHAPTER IV: OMINIOUS USELESS FORESHADOWINGLucifer and Nightmare X break into the store after Lucifer uses his chainball to turn the door into splinters, Nightmare X pulls out his shotgun as the James Bond theme plays and Lucifer smashes a random piece of Furniture as the total badass he is. Some random dude who happened to be a robber backflips through a closed window behind him, only to fall to a pit, be attacked by wolverines and crushed by a rock, which made him go completely insane. By the way, that dude's name was Thilo Savage.Lucifer and Nightmare notice the tied Shopkeeper under a table and kick him in the face, Nightmare then goes to check the items in the store.QuoteDIRK: 200 GPLOSER GUN: 700 GPPANSY SWORD: 700 GPSHITTY STAFF: 2000 GPTONIC: 1000 GP"The hell? Why must the early towns always have such weakass equipment and items?""RPG Cliches, of course, what would the world be without them?""... Shut up, I do not need a smartass here""SUDDENLY THE UNIVERSE EXPLODES""No it doesn't.""Agreed""Indeed""ARRRR, By the way, is it just me or no store is selling Doritos nowadays? CURSE THEM""True, must be something related to the main villains of this RPG, oh wait, that's a spoiler, nevermind."Nightmare and L then leave the store, not before setting it on fire and throwing all of the bullshit useless items off a cliff.Meanwhile...Two totally ominious figures are seen speaking, one of them sits in a desk, grinning"So, how's the plan going, my good sir?"The figure said, it was clearly a short, bald man."Rather good, the russians don't suspect anything, and we're building the warheads, but tell me, do you think THEY will come and try to stop us this time?"A taller figure answered to the question."They? Hah, even if they interfere..."The short figure let out a short laugh."They will be no match for our power, not now that we have the source of their power... Bwahahaha! Those fools will regret having helped us in the past!!! HACK, COUGH! MY SPINE!!"The figure then stands up and fires this really spiffy lightning out of his hands, or something.The camera (shut up) then zooms out of the window, showing us THE VATICAN, where shitloads of cyborg zombie minions are seen training for combat, with enormous combat mechs on the streets, it's clear that this is preparation for war, the camera zooms out more and we're shown the games title.LUCIFER KICKS ASS:[/size][/color][/b] Italian RevengeTO BE CONTINUED!!
DIRK: 200 GPLOSER GUN: 700 GPPANSY SWORD: 700 GPSHITTY STAFF: 2000 GPTONIC: 1000 GP
hapter 5ANd so our heros totally leave the Town...IN FLAMES!"Hey look! A completely random cave! It is cleary the only way to our destination, even though we could probably just go around or climb the moutain. Let go in!"CLICHE ALERT"I hate these damn Cliches!"RANDOM BATTLE!!!!!!!!! "ARGH KILL" Fat Kid appeared!Old Crone Appeared!Intangir appeared!"... um... Why is an Intangir traveling with a fat kind and an old crone?""Authors." "Oh"Fat Kid Is to fat to attack!Old Crone uses Bitch!NMX Counters with Uppercut Old People! 7896! Lucifer Casts Mute! Intangir counters with Meteo! Intangir's Spell fails, and he loses his Vanish. What an idiot.NMX Uses Break4! Old Crone is turned to Stone, and then falls into hell.Fat Kid has heartburn! Fat kid burst into flames.Lucifer Uses Dehilbiltator. Intangir is weak to Pearl! Intangir counters with Meteor but fails.NMX Uses Pearl87! Intangir counters with Meteo and Fails. 9999999999!"Uwaooooooooooo!"Lucifer Casts Dry Meat! *Insane Cutscene* Gau joined your Party! Rages: NMX, L , GTX, KS, Pres. Human, D. Bendict, Kefka, Kefka, Kefka, Kefka, Ultros, Nightshade, Pug, Usesallcommands, and Gau."Ok, lets Go into this cave and kick some random bosses ass."BOSS BATTLE OMFGItalin Experiment 45Gau Goes into Kefka Rage! Gau Casts Ultima! 99999!Lucifer Casts Draw and Quarter! 9999999999!NMX eats some Doritos. All stats go up by infinite!45 casts Propaganda! 45 failed miserably, so much so that he took 9999 damage.Gau Casts Light of Judgement! 99999999999999999999999999999^2^3^4^5^9999999999999999999999^99999999Lucifer uses Dorito Ray! 999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999945 Counters with Failure! 45 fails to Defend him self at all, and takes x99999999999999999 damage 45 dies. Cause he's a failure.Got 999999999999999999999999999999999999 ^780898181421 exp!Got Italin plans and important document crap!Got 999 magic points! Got the TFC Esper! UWAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I'M GAU! THOU! THOU!TO BE CONTINED!
I dont read anything NMX says. He never says anything new so why bother?
not much bullshit here, not to start any flames or anything, but all NMX was doing was pretty much telling Kasai the feeling was mutual.
