Very well, I admit defeat.
It is true that there is no Kary. No Lacus, Kagemitsu, Broom, Garland, Minion, Faris…
Well, not in the truest sense of the word.
Every one of them is based on a person I know in real life.
There is indeed a Kirsten Murphy in my school, we haven’t known each other since birth, she doesn’t go to my church [if at all] and her and I are on good terms. Not enough to invite her to my house, but enough to talk occasionally. She isn’t a good enough friend to invite to my house, but it wouldn’t take much work to get a better friend of her. Kirsten does indeed have a twin sister, but her and I, I call her Kerrigan at times even, don’t get along. She did have a Goth phase going on, and Sophih can vouch how I feel for them.
Lacus is actually a real person. The Cline’s are real and active members of my church. Her parents aren’t the bastard hell spawn that I depicted them, not by any means. In the real Cline family there is the father, Rob, the mom, Shanna, the oldest daughter, Amanda, the middle sibling, Sarah, and the youngest, the son, Josh. When I read Gundam Seed the manga, in Lacus Clyne I honestly saw Amanda in her. The same hair, minus the pink, but in nearly every other sense, they were the same. I just swapped the names of the two Cline girls and got Lacus, my ‘sister’.
Minion is actually one I almost got to be real. Blaine Piro is the son of Doug Piro, and they’re very good friends of my family. I’ve called him Minion on more than one occasion, and he accepted it as a near nickname, though he still preferred Blaine. He’s twelve, has a sister, Emily, is in grade 7, first year of Junior High, and does have extensive knowledge of nearly anything in computers, DOS or otherwise. He’s also a very good typer for his age. Minion was by far the most real of my ‘creations’.
For Broom… He very much resembles my friend Dillon. That small picture of Broom in my photobucket is Dillon. Him and I are good friends, nearly to the point of inviting him to my house, but he gives such a Wanderer feeling to him. He doesn’t use a locker, he always has all his school stuff in his backpack, and the same coat. Does a killer game of dodge ball, too…
Kagemitsu was actually very real, in a way… He’s not 17, but rather in grade 3. He’s not mute, but quiet enough to count as one… He sits behind me on the bus. He was very much the model for Kag, his name is even Brian Johnson.
Garland I based on my cousin Logen. He’s not any blacksmith, but he certainly has the capability to be one. But I never mentioned him much, so moving on…
Diamond Clawbot I based on my friend Jordan Cook. Clawvo resembled Jordan in nearly every conceivable way, with the yelling and stuff. He hasn’t played Descent, but I’m sure it wouldn’t be hard to introduce him to it.
Faris, by far the most controversial addition, is… Well, not in any sense real. Sure, there’s a Cali Hyer in my social class, but other than that, there is no real connection to the bi, Descent-loving unfortunate girl that you all thought for a time was real. Cali Hyer and I don’t talk much, but hey, I can sure try to get her for a friend. I’ve improved exponentially in my socialization skills, so it’s not too far off, if I… ya know, tried.
Dekar and Erim are both fake, figments of my imagination, impulse things, no basis on reality at all. Blame a Lufia 2 kick more than anything.
The reason I made up these people was to help liven up the Emureactor forums. Back then it was just Broom and Garland, but then I got to TPH, and since it was so… bland, boring, I wanted to make it more interesting by adding this ‘system’ I created. More of a challenge to the rest of you, see if you could spot my errs and discover my secret. But through my own faults, it failed. The killing blow was Faris, really. After Lazlo confessed, I thought it would be suspicious to reject it, so along with it I went… hard as it was for me to impersonate it, though. [That chocolate bikini thing was hard to do. Thank goodness for convenient internet failures.]
Now then… with that out of the way, now to me.
Whether you choose to believe me on this or not, everything about me is true. The DOSage, the way I act and joke around, my tastes in music, my beliefs, and all things concerning Swiftman is true. But after all this, hey, you believing me, slim pickings.
Trigger, Kasai, Razel, sorry to break your trust like this, but since everyone else is going to hate me, why not you three too.
Antha, after all this, you have very solid grounds to hating me, so if you choose to leave me, then leave you must, I can’t and won’t stop you. Whatever choice you make, I will encourage and support, whether you stay [the chances of THAT are…. Well, UNPOSSIBLE.] I still retain feelings for you, but you deserve better than a lying hankwad like me.
Jody, I did think of you as a sister at one point, and now you hate me beyond anything I can comprehend. Can’t say I blame you, I hate myself for bringing this about. Whether you believe me is up to you, and you’re possibly reveling either in the taste of victory or in simple disgust for me, either is possible, among other things.
To Drifter, aka Trigger, you have the credit of breaking my will. You've been a very good friend to stand by me with this, though you expressed obvious doubt. Can't blame you. I don't deserve you as a friend by any means at all.
NMX, you hated me from the beginning, so no change in you, just now you have reason for it.
Skull, I appreciate you being such a good friend, you’re honestly the funniest person I know [more XD’s and lawl’s from you than anyone else] but if you want to leave me and never speak to me again, I can’t blame you in the slightest.
Kasai, despite all that you’ve done for me, I’m sorry to stab you in the back like this. I can tell you had true adoration for me, and I’m honestly sorry to do this to you.
Lazlo, to you I’m the most sorry for. The two girls you thought were real, and had loved, were nothing but the typings of a poor, poor fool. You truly are an awesome person, and I don’t deserve to be your friend, before or after this. You always did say “Forgive and forget.†But right now, I won’t blame you in the slightest if you don’t live up to that saying.
Razel, thanks again for sticking up for me, but I’m really sorry to do this to your choice. It has indeed been hard to impersonate all these people, but I didn’t have the joy of revealing the secret like you had in your case. I’m not laughing at everyone’s faces, I’m not feeling anything like “ha ha, suckers!†or nothing. I’m just filled with disgust at myself and what I’ve done. I am a nice person and I hated to bring you all along this wild goose chase, but you believing that I’m feeling remorse isn’t possible. It is what I’m feeling, even if you don’t think it. I felt no joy in this whole affair, and I thought somehow I could weasel out of it, but apparently I moved too quickly, or didn’t back my stories up right, or made it too illogical to follow, or maybe just that I’m a right bastard in all this and deserve any scorn you give to me.
But, you all know how I work.
Ask and you shall receive.
If you want me to leave TPH, then leave I shall. Settle this with diplomacy and not violence. Just ask or tell me to leave, and I shall, and all other TPH-influenced forums also. Eternal Insanity, Megaman the Legend you don’t have to worry about, Melee I’ll be shutting down, sorry Skull, but since it wasn’t getting the slightest amount of activity at all, barely, it’s perhaps better to snuff it out now than later. [Exactly how can one close a forum? Somewhere in the admin CP, or just leave it to rot?]
And what I shall be doing with my MSN…
I’ll delete all contacts that I’ve had, and anyone who wishes to continue correspondence with me can talk to me themselves. If you don’t want to, I can’t blame you, but if you still want to talk to me, I won’t say no, and I for sure won’t be adding a little arrow or changing from my blue font.
Just what I plan to do, why I did all this, how I feel about it all, and I guess now is the time….
For me to express my deepest sorrow in this whole ugly thing.
You may just think of me as spouting crap, but these are genuine feelings, whether you believe them or not.
I’m really sorry to have led you all down this, make you believe all this junk I’ve made, and everything to do with me myself and the ‘empire’ I created. I didn’t plan to gain anything from it, and I knew one day I would fail at it, even though I tried as hard as hell to make it through. But looky look, it failed, horribly, and I’m beating myself up on the inside for it, but I’m open to any beatings that you all give me, I surely deserve it. But all that I did, this scenario I created, is what I would do if it were real. I’m not a bad person, despite all the sins that I’ve done. I know I don’t deserve to be saying that, and I don’t deserve to be believed, but it’s the truth.
I’m open to what you now have to say. Hold nothing back, anything you say that’s negative to me is only just the start of what I should receive.
